Sometimes I read back through my journal to see how far I’ve come…or not. Am I still worried about the same stuff I was worried about 2 months ago? Has the list of things I’m grateful for grown? What kind of progress have I made personally and professionally?
I was flipping through yesterday and came across this entry, it’s about a month old. I’m using it as the basis for today’s post, because since I wrote this, I’ve stopped doing a lot of sh*t that was holding me back big time- so I know it can work for you too.
One of the hardest things in life is wanting to help people who either don’t want it or aren’t ready for it. No one is better than anyone else-but some people gather wisdom worth sharing and it hurts to watch others choose suffering over learning. Pride gets in the way-emotions cloud perspective. It’s not easy being a human.
So much thinking and feeling going on. All we can do is our very best, put good intentions behind our actions, and trust in the timing of God & the Universe. Learn from the past but leave it there. Stop belaboring the things that didn’t go the way we wanted. Would you rather be right or happy? Happy always wins…well it should. Timing is good to you when you’re happy to be wherever you are.
So what do I want you to stop doing?
Resisting. Denying. Hiding. Remaining. Lying. Reliving.
Maybe you’re not guilty of everything on that list right now, but at some point, we all dabble in each one.
We resist, deny and hide feelings all of the time. Sometimes, it’s so bad, we don’t even know how we feel. Ever burst into tears, someone asks, “What’s wrong?” and the answer is…”I dooonn’t knoowww”?
We also resist and deny our reality. Blocking things out is just easier when actually having to deal with it is a bear, but it always comes back to bite you in the a*s.
We remain in situations we know are wrong. We lie to ourselves about all kinds of things. “Mini cupcakes don’t count right?” Sorry homey, they’re made from the same sugar, butter and flour as the big ones. Or “When he said this, he really meant this, right?” Wrong.
We also relive the past and wonder why we’re not moving forward.
How to Stop Resisting. Denying. Hiding. Remaining. Lying. Reliving…
These two things jumped out at me the most when I re-read the entry above:
All we can do is our very best and put good intentions behind our actions. I just finished reading Bethenny Frankel’s book A Place of Yes. One of her chapters is called Everything’s Your Business. True statement, but easily forgotten in daily life. She sums it up at the end with this, “Do everything to the best of your ability, give every job your all, and treat everything like it’s your business. Respect others, play fair, do what feels right…”
This is about integrity. Who are you when nobody is watching? Take pride in everything you do. Other people will notice, and you will feel fan-freaking-tastic about yourself. I promise.
Not everything you do will be welcomed by all and praised by the masses. If your true intentions are good, do it anyway. If you aren’t clear on your intentions, wait until you are, then decide. This applies to everything. Are you out to impress someone else? or feed your own soul? To help people or to look good? Keep it real people-the world needs more real and true.
Timing is good to you when you’re happy to be wherever you are. What the hell? Bad timing is such a great excuse anytime something isn’t working out. This is a matter of perspective. Try it out. Next time you want to chalk something up to bad timing, step back and figure out why it’s right timing. What’s the real lesson there? The real opportunity?
A friend of mine was telling me a story about her client who was stuck in a relationship she knew was wrong but she was paralyzed by the fear that she wouldn’t meet anyone better.
So what happens? A great guy asked her out-and although she wasn’t ready to date, she saw the message clearly, “There are other great guys out there, stop being afraid.” She could have said, “Ugh! Of course I meet this great new guy when I’m not ready for all of that.” But she was smarter than that. Bravo.
This applies to so many things. Ever have a great opportunity come your way and have to turn it down because you were too busy? That wasn’t the opportunity for you.
Last summer I sprained my ankle the during the first night of a bootcamp class I was really excited to teach-that put me out for the count for several weeks. It wasn’t bad timing, it was my call to get educated about nutrition. If I couldn’t exercise I had to eat way better.
And now, I can teach it to you. Perfect.
Accepting that you’re always exactly where you’re supposed to be liberates you from feeling sorry for yourself, and puts you in control. Now, you can connect with your gut, take stock of what’s going down-and take action to move forward.
Liz DiAlto, CSCS can be found in NYC at Willspace training clients and teaching classes, or online at lizdialto.com. Her strength is helping really busy women make lifestyle changes to increase their confidence, energy, strength and vitality, while busting through goals they’d long given up on (like dusting off their skinny jeans!). Click here for Liz’s 10 Easy Steps to a Slammin’ Hot Bikini Body.
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